KMBC announces unparalleled expansion into new academic territory.

[Jackson, KY] – In an effort to expand beyond the limitations of traditional education, Kentucky Mountain Bible College has unveiled plans for an unrivaled feat in higher education.  KMBC will put a branch campus on Mars by 2027.  Contrary to the image of the sprawling and beautiful rural campus that KMBC is known for, this new branch campus will consist entirely of one self-contained educational unit transported via 1 Falcon Heavy rocket.  The cramped living and educational space will strictly limit the number of students accepted at the new campus, creating one of the most exclusive campuses in interstellar higher education.

The new campus, affectionately nicknamed “Kentucky Martian Bible College”, will offer both on-campus and online educational opportunities.  Collegiate sports will be limited, but KMBC expects the campus to take the highest regional trophies in most categories.  “The sky’s the limit”, said a source who asked not to be identified, but who is seeking the position of the new campus provost. “There is nothing holding us down.”

The KMBC Marketing Department proudly announced that when the new campus is live, it will receive #1 Top College Rankings in multiple Martian educational standards.

In conjunction with the branch campus, additional majors will be offered to reflect the expanded plane of educational focus.  New programs will include Intergalactic Evangelism, Discipleship over Vast Distances, Worship Music of the Stars, and Starman Studies.

The new campus faces additional challenges from red planet tape, such as there currently being no accreditation agency that has jurisdiction outside the sphere of Earth’s gravity.

The first professors and students are already applying for the highly-competitive opportunity to study in this unique environment.  The new branch is scheduled to open April 1, 2027 Earth Eastern Time.


This article published April 1, 2021.

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